How Do You Fill in the Blanks?

Some of you may remember that I wrote a blogpost a few weeks ago about being sick. My family was down with a cold for a few days and we have recovered well. I am slowly regaining my voice after three weeks as a mute. That’s kind of lame when you’re a communicator. Just sayin’.

It was interesting to see how people responded to the quiet version of my talkative self. I tried to limit my whispering to a minimum, but sometimes I couldn’t avoid it. For instance, when my boys did something wrong, I really, truly needed to whisper forcefully. Trying to imagine what that sounds like? Yeah, right. I’d be hissing and they were giggling. No effect whatsoever.

It fascinated me to see how people whispered back at me. It was amazing to see how they sympathized with me to the extent that they lowered their own voice, making it even more difficult to have a meaningful conversation. Somewhat touching, but also slightly annoying.

The other day a woman was being funny, telling my husband that he should enjoy this time of peace and quiet. “No way!” he exclaimed, “I miss her talking!” I loved him endlessly!

It’s strange how our conversation defines our relationship. One of my boys came and sat next to me. “I know you can’t talk” he said, “but I’ll just sit here with you. That’s second best.”

Another of my sons sat down in front of me, saying: “Is there something on your mind? Is there anything you need to communicate to me?” I smiled and assured him that it was all good. Because I know him and how his mind works, I whispered: “I’m not rejecting you. I just don’t have any voice.” His shoulders lowered as he nodded, smiled and walked off.

What had just happened? He had filled in the blanks. In his mind, he had harbored a different story. A false story. A story where he was rejected. Excluded. Disliked.

We run the risk of doing that every day.

What is our train of thoughts when something is not clearly communicated? How do we fill in the blanks?

Your friend is having a small dinner party. You are not invited. What is your line of thought? Do you feel rejected? Do you call your friend to ask why? Or do you reckon that your friend is free to invite whomever he or she wants to?

You’ve just been promoted at work. For the next few days your co-worker hardly speaks to you, leaving you thinking… what? That he is upset with you? That she is envious? Or that he’s busy?

You’ve suffered a loss or gone through a depression. As you finally go out to go to get the mail, your neighbors glance briefly in your direction before closing the door behind them. You know you are vulnerable. What’s on your mind? They don’t want to talk to you? They don’t like you? Or they probably didn’t see you, you’ll talk to them later?

How do you fill in for the unspoken?

Our mind doesn’t deal well with blanks. We are wired for a story. Whenever we see or hear bits and pieces our mind will fill in the blanks to create a complete picture and provide us with an understanding. Most often that works out for our good. Other times it most certainly doesn’t.

Sometimes our treacherous mind will lead us to believe things that are not true. We fill in the uncertain, unpredictable blanks with something that will confirm the beliefs we already hold about ourselves.

She never called back. That’s because she doesn’t like me. Most people don’t. No wonder, I don’t like even myself.

We don’t get pregnant. Maybe it’s for the better, I would have made a lousy dad. No kid would ever want to have a father like me. I know I wouldn’t.

I didn’t get healed. Most likely, God doesn’t want to heal me. Maybe he thinks that I’ve got what I deserved? I probably did.

People, we must learn to live with the blanks! We do not have all the answers. What’s more important, we don’t need them.

Your inner dialogue should reflect your God-given fabric.

Don’t ever allow yourself to harbor other thoughts about yourself than the ones the Father has for you. Dive into the Word of God to find his heart for you. Who does he say that you are? How does he feel about you?

I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

Can you hear the good Father singing over you? This should be your answer to him:

Who could ever separate us from the endless love of God’s Anointed One? Absolutely no one!
For nothing in the universe has the power to diminish his love toward us.
(…) There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love.
There is no power above us or beneath us  –  no power that could ever be found in the universe
that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus,
the Anointed One!

Romans 8:35, 38 (PT)

This is a call for the people of God. Seek Him! Seek His truth for your life! Do not fill in the blanks of your life with lies from hell. Don’t be misguided. Don’t doubt in the darkness what you knew to be true in the light.

Unless the Word of God fills in your blanks, dare to leave them open. If you haven’t received any revelation concerning the mysteries of your life, then don’t fake it. Do not succumb to the temptation of easy answers, nor to self-judgment. Above all, do not let your need to understand get in the way of the peace that surpasses all understanding.

There’s grace to be found in the blank spaces.

Rang a bell, huh? If this is something that you are struggling with, you might find this blogpost helpful:

The Stories We Tell Ourselves