I was invited to speak to a group of young mothers. They had sent me a couple of good questions in advance, such as how to communicate God to small children. As I was about to leave it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to ask my kids how they had benefitted from my vast experience in this area.
I dropped the question at the first one to come along. “How did Dad and I impact your understanding of God? What did we do that communicated God’s character to you?” He didn’t skip a beat before answering: “Oh, that’s easy! It was something that we did together. We talked about Jesus and shared our experiences and I was never too young to pitch in! That’s how I got to know God.”
Well, that’s interesting! So, it wasn’t the Sunday school, the felt board stories, or the worship sing-along DVDs. It was the life that we shared that showed him who God was.
Encouraged, I popped the same question to the next one, only to get a bewildered stare in return. “What has my faith got to do with you guys? I mean, everything I ever learned about God I figured out for myself. I got to know him on my own, you weren’t involved at all. Why would you even think that?”
He took off and left me hanging in the hallway. Any sense of accomplishment that I might have felt was all gone. As I left for the mother’s group I wondered what I had gotten myself into. How could I possibly say anything sensible about raising children to know the Father, when I obviously had done a lousy job mothering these fine young men who had come to know the Lord, not through my intentional efforts, but by the grace of God?
But then again, it always is, right? By the grace of God?
After two minutes of fretting and sulking I was done. A weight lifted off my shoulders as I realized that my kids’ salvation did not depend on whether I had done everything right or not. Obviously, I had not. I knew that, of course. But it still felt good to be reminded of the fact that God is a faithful Father, and he would never ever let my children down. After all, they are his, too.
I arrived at the mother’s group to find these wonderful women with a lot of questions. They were such loving mothers, always with their children’s best at heart. I studied these brilliant, dedicated young women, used to working hard, volunteering ever harder, praying, worshipping, and taking care of their friendships. Over a few years, their lives had radically changed as their families had grown, the level of responsibility increased, while spare time and range of motion had been drastically reduced.
There was a frustration in the air.
I never get time to pray anymore. How do I get alone-time with the Lord? Relax. Pray in the shower. Listen as you brush your teeth. Your relationship with the Lord is not limited to a few minutes in the morning.
My baby won’t leave me alone for a second, I don’t have even a minute to myself. I’m exhausted, it’s like my batteries died! So, you recharge them in the car driving from kindergarten to work. Worship! Sing your heart out! Exchange your inadequacy for his power.
Whenever it’s time to put my toddler to sleep he’s all over the place! All I want is to end the day peacefully with a devotional or something, but instead I practically have to drag him off the iPad kicking and screaming. That’s pretty much sums up our nighttime ritual. No prayer, no singing, nothing even resembling anything godly! I feel like a total failure every night. Teaching your child about God goes beyond singing or talking. You are showing him God’s character through everything you do. Your kid will learn about love, faithfulness, truthfulness, grace and forgiveness from you. Because you share life – all of it! – your children will come to know the Father through you.
Even if we fail, he won’t.
For he is the Father of tender mercy and the God of endless comfort.
1 Cor 1:3 (TPT)
Because of who he is he will make himself known to our children, whether through our words and actions, or by letting them tumble their way into his embrace.
Knowing God is more than having knowledge of God. It’s encountering him. It’s realizing that we are all his children, wrapped up in his loving arms, and that we cannot do anything that would ever make him love us any less.
As parents, we love our kids wholeheartedly, thus pointing them to the very origin of unconditional love. After all, we love because he loved us first. No matter what they do or tell us we keep investing in our children, pouring into them as much love as we possibly can on this side of heaven. By faith we hold onto all things hoped for, though not yet seen, knowing that our God is wholly responsible for the outcome of our investment.
“By the way, I thought about what we talked about the other day. I think I learned a thing or two about God from you. I just couldn’t think of it when you asked me, it took some time. I’m an introvert, you know!” He grinned at me, lighting up a dusty corner of my soul with sparkles of hope.
It only took him a few days to find his bearing and feel our shoulders beneath his feet, but he will have an eternity to enjoy it.