How do You Know When it’s Time to Move On?

”We are very conscientious” I commented thoughtfully to my husband. “Extremely dutiful.” He nodded. “Maybe too much so?” The conversation took place over a few minutes in the car, but it lingered with us for days. We are so used to being perseverant and hanging in there, that sometimes it requires a minor earthquake for us to move on.

When does perseverance become a sin?

As we studied the last twenty-something years in the rearview mirror, we realized that there had been several times when we had been exhausted, beaten, uncomfortable and miserable, but we still stayed. We still contended. Why would we do that? Why this exaggerated need to remain faithful, even when our surroundings weren’t?

Obviously, I am not talking about our marriage or family. These are covenant relationships that we honor and cherish.

But over the years, my husband and I have found ourselves in many different settings. Friendships. Other relationships. Work. Church. Missions. Assignments. We have known and loved an endless list of people, and we have passionately poured into the life and well-being of others. We are richer for doing so, and we have been blessed with friends that make me smile happily just by thinking about them.

Nevertheless, looking back, it’s not hard to see that we should have pulled away sometimes. We held onto dysfunctional relationships and shriveling causes for too long. We were so determined not to be the ones to fail that we kept on fighting long after the grace was gone.

I’m not saying that we should not fight for people or relationships. If you know us at all, you’ll know that we certainly do. Our problem is NOT that we give up too easily because we don’t. But it dawned on us that we might miss our cue. Our get-go. Our release.

The scenes that played in the rearview mirror made us realize that we’ve sometimes stayed in the assignment that God had called us to, longer than he called us to.

We outstayed the grace.

Whenever God calls us to do something he also equips us for it. As we give ourselves to him, he gives his all to us. It’s the most beautiful exchange and he is always faithful. Being a co-laborer with Christ means that we work with him, in his strength, his power, and his grace. As we show up and do our part, he gets to do his! There’s nothing better. I absolutely love to see how God shows up and changes lives! None of my words or actions could ever accomplish any of that. But with him, everything is possible.

Walking with God is anything but predictable. Maybe that has been your experience, too? As you follow Jesus you hardly ever know what’s ahead.

And suddenly, you’ve turned a corner and find there’s new land ahead.

Unfamiliar scenery. Unknown territory.

What do you do? Do you stay, thinking that you deserve to enjoy the Egyptian kebab after your hard labor? That Egypt will never manage without you? That you won’t leave the resort by the Red Sea until you know your next destination?

Or do you pack up, even though you don’t know what’s ahead?

My excuse for not moving on has most often been wanting to know where I’m going before leaving where I’m at. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but looking back, it’s clear to see. Even as the grace left and I was struggling on in my own feeble strength, I remained for some time in the setting that I knew and had grown accustomed to.

Disobedience sometimes disguises as conscientiousness. Faithfulness. Stamina.

We are called to have an impact in this world. To be the salt that should flavor our surroundings and keep them from perishing. To shine the light that will bring hope and clarity into our dark circumstances and neighborhoods.

There is no way we can achieve that on our own. Even our best efforts won’t be enough to comply with our heavenly mandate.

A friend of mine went to a tiny church where the average age of the members was well above 70 years. She had grown up in that church and loved the people and their traditions. I asked her what the goal was for the church, what their mission statement was. “Mantener las puertas abiertas”, she said. To keep the doors open on Sunday mornings. Not symbolically, but literally. They had settled for what they were able to do in their own strength.

We all do things that we are not happy with. That’s OK. It’s called life.

You don’t need a special calling to serve someone coffee, the general commandment of loving your neighbor will do. It doesn’t take a certain anointing to clean the bathrooms in church or take your old aunt to the hospital. It’s called common decency. Don’t you dare using some semi-Christian excuse to avoid serving where you’re at while waiting to get where you want to be. The salt is not in charge. God is.

But if you’ve unexpectedly turned a corner and you sense that there’s something new ahead of you, I want to encourage you to stop for a while. Selah. Allow the Lord to speak to you about what s ahead. Trust that as you leave the meat pots of Egypt, he will provide for you. Dare to step into the desert on your way to the Promised Land.

There’s grace waiting for you further down the road.